Faith

by Jerry Blackerby

The doctor said, “You have congestive heart failure. Your heart is enlarged and very weak. There is nothing I can do because of the condition of your heart and your age. You will probably live another two or three months and I can give you medication to ease the pain.”

What would you do if you heard these words? Most of us would panic. If we are Christians, we know where we are going when we die. Why does it scare us? Where is our faith?

Dad had his first heart attack when he was 25. He was a farmer and the doctors told him he would not live to see 30. Dad left the farm, since he could not keep up the hard work.

While on the farm, Mom’s witness caused Dad to realize he was not saved and brought him to the Lord after they were married. While still working the farm, Dad began to feel that God was calling him to preach. He told Mom, “I am a new Christian. I don’t know enough to preach. I didn’t finish high school. I don’t have enough education to get up and speak in front of others. I can’t preach!”

Mom calmly told Dad, “If God wants you to preach, He will provide the message. He will give you the words to say. You can preach!” Dad didn’t think so.

For years, Dad worked at multiple jobs to provide for us. Many times he would be working and could not go to church, but Mom made sure that we never missed. Later, I would hear Mom telling Dad everything the preacher said.

Mom knew her Bible. She was the daughter of a deacon and the granddaughter of a minister. She was descended from many generations of ministers. She knew and loved the Gospel message of Jesus Christ, her Savior. Many times Dad would ask Mom what some passage in the Bible meant. Mom always explained in terms that Dad understood. In effect, Mom was teaching Dad the Bible and helping prepare him to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

For almost 20 years Dad fought the call to preach. Finally, he surrendered to preach just before his 40^th birthday. Dad began practicing sermons on Mom. Pretty soon Dad was being asked to preach at our church or to fill in at other churches. I could hear Mom’s guidance in many of Dad’s sermons because Mom had taught him well. Dad was still working full time so he bought a 15-minute and later a 30-minute spot on a small local radio station on Sunday morning. He would preach to a radio audience before attending his home church.

Preaching on the radio gave Dad plenty of practice studying, preparing, and delivering sermons. A couple of years later, Dad accepted the call to pastor a small rural church. Dad was the pastor of several churches in small towns or rural areas for nearly 40 years.

Dad continued to have heart problems. When Dad was about 70, he had a heart attack while on a trip to deep east Texas. The doctor said he would have to go to Houston to the hospital. Dad refused to go to Houston. Friends and family ferried Dad back near Dallas where I met them. I took him to a hospital between Dallas and Fort Worth where he knew the doctors. After some tests, the doctor recommended a heart catheter for the next morning. We took Mom home with us and returned to the hospital the next morning.

Dad was sitting up in bed. I asked, “When are they coming to get you for the catheter, Dad?”

“They are not!”

I asked, “What do you mean they’re not? What happened?”

“I didn’t sign the release. Have you read what that paper says?”

I had not read it, so Dad told me, “The release says I can die while they are doing the test.”

The doctors did some other tests and changed Dad’s medications. When the hospital released Dad, we drove him home near Amarillo.

Dad was the pastor of a small church about 30 miles from where he lived near Amarillo. My wife had a heart attack when Dad was 78. She had a heart catheter and angioplasty. Shortly after that, when Dad had another spell with his heart, he had a heart catheter. My wife had survived it; therefore he could also. His arteries were clean, but his valves were bad. At his age and with his enlarged heart, they would not do any valve replacement surgery. The doctors continued treating him with medication.

Dad was nearly 80 when his health had declined to a point that he resigned the little church where he was the pastor. It was shortly after that when the doctors told Dad that he had congestive heart failure and would only live two or three months.

We were visiting Mom and Dad the weekend after the diagnosis of congestive heart failure. My wife and I were sitting in the living room with Dad and he was talking about what the doctors had told him. He seemed very anxious. When I asked him why he seemed so upset, he replied, “The doctor said I am going to die!”

I said, “Dad, all of us are going to die sometime. You have been preaching faith a long time. Where is yours?”

“You’ve never been told you were going to die in two months!”

My wife spoke up and said, “When I was in CCU following my heart attack and flat-lined, I could hear everyone talking about I was dying. I did not think about being afraid! I only thought about not being here for Jerry and the kids.”

Dad looked funny and did not say any more. We changed the subject as others came into the room.

The next weekend, we returned to see Mom and Dad. Dad was in very good spirits. He had prayed and his faith had taken over. He could now say, “Death where is thy sting? Grave where is thy victory?” Dad lived almost three more years and died peacefully with the knowledge that he would be with Jesus.

Even Peter had a loss of his faith, when Jesus told him to walk across the water in Matthew 14. Peter began walking on the water until he saw the high wind and waves and took his eyes off Jesus. He began to sink and cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus reached out and saved him from the waves. Peter took his eyes off Jesus and lost his faith for a moment. We must always look to Jesus! We must stay focused on our Savior!